SpongeBob SquarePants Everything (transcript)
This is a transcript of the FCCD video "SpongeBob SquarePants Everything", released on December 17, 2017. * beach intro plays, then cut to a box with a bunch of SpongeBob stuff inside saying "SpongeBob SquarePants EVERYTHING" * Announcer: Ohhhh..... hey kids! It's as he says it ''SpongeBob SquareP-- ''guy in a SpongeBob suit comes and shakes the box, making some stuff fall out '' * '''SpongeBob: '''Did you say everything? ''pitched voice; has SpongeBobs for eyes ''With my face on it? * '''Squidward: '''If anyone's face should be on everything, it should be mine. * '''Patrick: 'jumping up and down ''The only thing that should be on everybody's face is extra cheese! ''some Easy Cheese at Squidward ''Oh, wait, I meant sunscreen. * '''Squidward: 'a clump of cheese on his face ''I can't breathe. * '''SpongeBob 'by Squidward ''Wash the cheese out of your nose, Squidward and let's get DIGGIN'! * ''sets everything up while Saxaboogie starts playing * Announcer: 'SpongeBob choc 'n' chip cookies! ''of a noise maker and kids celebrating is heard * starts slamming two packs of cookie batter on the table * 'Spongebob: '''Put the cookie batter on the tray! * ''throws batter on the tray * 'Patrick: '''Cook 'em in the dryer! * ''explodes * '''Patrick: ''cookies out of the dryer, which suddenly have Spongebob characters on them. And your cookies are done! * ''house is on fire * Squidward: 'Patrick, your cookies set my house on fire! * ''of the house's flaming ears fall off, and Bobby tries to put the house back together but fails * 'Bobby: '''Oooh, ah, uh oh. * '''SpongeBob: '''I'll put the fire out with ''voice ''Spienge Biab Giuoe Gurt. ''voice ''Here we go! ''on the GoGurt tubes, causing GoGurt to be splattered all over Squidward and his house * 'Squidward: '''Why does everything get all over my shirt? * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Wipe that frown off your nose, Mr. Squidward! ''a SpongeBob towel at Squidward, covering his face * 'Bobby: '''Hang on, I'm getting a call. It's ''gelatin. * 'Squidward: '''What is ''gelatin? * 'SpongeBob: '''It's pure ''Bobby's low pitched voice vitamins and nutrients. * 'Squidward: '''I want ''low pitched voice vitamins and nutrients. * 'Patrick: '''But it's in the shape of you and your friends! * '''Bobby: '''Patrick, SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, ''voice ''Squidward ''voice and Plankton. * '''Patrick: '''Look at me! I'm all jiggly! * '''Squidward: '''You know, if you keep eating that stuff you'll BE jiggly. * '''Patrick: ''in red Jell-O'' Squidward, I don't know what you're talkin' about. * throws Patrick at the counter, removing the Jell-O from him, while a higher pitched and slightly faster version of Stadium Rave plays * Patrick: 'I'm a born-again man! * ''throws Squidward, covered in green Jell-O, at the counter * 'Squidward: '''My mother always told me I was sweet. * ''throws SpongeBob, who was covered in yellow Jell-O, at the counter * '''SpongeBob: ''a weird, high pitched voice I feel SLIMY! * '''Patrick: '''I accidentally filled the fish tank full of ''Bobby's low pitched voice gelatin.' * ''throws Squidward and SpongeBob at the Jell-O * '''Squidward: '''Ow. * '''Mr Krabs: Say hello to this bowl of gelatin, Mr. Squidward. the bowl of colorful Jell-O onto Squidward's shirt * Squidward: Hello. * Bobby: 'SpongeBob SquarePants soup! * ''soup is just a bunch of salt mixed with water * '''Patrick: '''This soup is full of SALT! * '''SpongeBob: '''Let's make some real soup! How about veggies and- * '''Patrick: ''SpongeBob UNPEELED POTATOES! ''potatoes in the pan * Bobby: '''SpongeBob lunch box! * '''Sandy: ''a thick Texan accent I like to put squirrel food in my lunch box! * '''SpongeBob: '''One time, I put breakfast in my lunch box! * '''Patrick: '''My lunch box is full of SpongeBob golf balls! ''the lunch box * Bobby: ''a very weird voice A-SpongeaBoba potato chips! ''the packet of crisps * Patrick: 'SpongeBob, I'm eating so much junk food with your face on it that I think my tummy's gonna pop. * ''pops a balloon (Patrick's 'stomach') and throws potato chips at Patrick * '''Patrick: '''Ow. * '''SpongeBob: '''I ate really fast and now my tummy hurts! * '''Mr Krabs: ''a toy train CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO YOUR FOOD, SPONGEY BOY! ''off the countertop ''Ow. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob ice crea-OH MY GOODNESS! * '''Patrick: 'ice cream ''Help! I'm becoming melt! You know, usually I make puddles but now I AM a puddle. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants rubber bands. * '''Squidward: '''Office supplies? Wow that's exciting. What's next, a stapl- * ''line of rubber bands grabs and pulls a screaming Squidward, while a higher pitched version of Hawaiian Train plays; it leads him to all sorts of places until he reaches the top of an apartment building * Squidward: I'm glad that's ove-OHHHAAAAA! * Patrick: 'It's bungee jumpin' Squidward! * '''Squidward: '''Patrick, no!! * '''Patrick: '''Step one is to jump! ''Squidward of the edge of the building Step two is to make sure it's atta - oh. * screams while falling * 'SpongeBob: '''Here, Squidward, take this sheet! * ''parachute lands in a tree and catches Squidward * 'Squidward: '''I'm sorry for every bad thing I've ever done. * '''Patrick: '''I forgive you, Squidard. * '''Bobby: '''Underwear! * '''Patrick: '''They fit perfectly! * ''throws Patrick across the counter * 'Patrick: '''DAWWWWW! * '''Bobby: '''SpatBob Spongeula! * ''spatula is melting on top of a heater, revealing it to be just a prop made of plastic * 'Mr Krabs: '''This fire won't get any hotter because here comes the water! ''water at the fire and laughs * 'Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants dental products! * '''Sandy: '''Now here's a good product that's adventitious for your tee- * '''Patrick: ' Now my shiny mouth rocks! * light shines onto Patrick's teeth and onto Sandy's helmet. It burns Squidward's house * '''Sandy: '''Patrick, the light is shining off my helmet and onto- * '''Patrick: '''Squidward's house. * '''Squidward: '''Stop setting my house on fire with your teeth! * '''Patrick: '''Sorry, Squidward. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants sippy cup! ''to a pan ''Fill your sippy cup full of boiled cabbage and drink up! * '''Mr. Krabs: '''NO THANK YOU! * '''Bobby: ''to outside SpongeBob drones! * '''Patrick: '''This little pigeon is leaving the nest! ''into the wall ''DAWWWWWWWWWWWWW! * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob luggage tag! Scribble down your personal information ''the piece of paper with a SpongeBob pencil ''and pack your bags full of boiled cabbage. ''the boiled cabbage in a suitcase ''Now with your name and address on your tag ''a tag with SpongeBob's address and an email address (haveabowl@sea.com) ''your luggage can be returned to you if it gets lost. ''the suitcase in a dumpster * back inside * Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants deodorant! * '''Patrick: '''This ice cream tastes terrible but it smells so good. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants drawstring bag! What's that I smell? You guessed it! BOILED CABBAGE. Fill your drawstring bag to the top with boiled cabbage and go jogging with it. * '''Mr Krabs: '''My bag is full of loose change and I'm not handin' it over. * '''SpongeBob: '''But Mr Krabs, you don't need that money to be happy. * '''Mr Krabs: ''shouts You're right SpongeBob! I can hang out with you guys for free! How 'bout a hug? ''laughs * Gary: Woah! * Mr Krabs: 'I don't need any o' this cursed money! * ''fish from Mario appears * 'Fish: '''Yeah! Oh boy! Money! * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants bicy- * '''Patrick: '''I'm pedalling home to Mommy and Daddy! * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants masks! * '''SpongeBob: '''Peekaboo, it's me, SpongeBob! * '''Patrick: '''Peekaboo, they didn't have a Patrick mask so I used a SpongeBob mask. * '''Bobby: '''It's a SpongeBob burritos y enchiladas! * '''SpongeBob: '¿Dónde están mis amigos Patrick y Squidward? * 'Patrick: '''Hola, SpongeBob. Tu amigo Patrick está aquí, me gusta burritos * '''Squidward: '(with text-to-speech voice) Yo soy Squidward. * 'Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants pinata! * ''and another guy hit a pinata full of explosives * 'Bobby: '''Hit it, hit it, hit it! * ''of the explosives inside the pinata explode * '''Bobby: '''You didn't hit it. * '''Brandon: ''faint I hit it. * ''back inside * Bobby: '''SpongeBob whoopie cushion! * '''Patrick: '''It's making a flabby noise! * '''Serious Lifeguard Fish: '''Do you guys think this is supposed to be funny? You're going around making big ol' messes and little 'toot' noises? IN MY TOWN? * '''Patrick: Well congratulations Plankton, I didn't know you were the mayor. * instrumental version of 'Now That We're Men' starts to play * Bobby: '''SpongeBob Gummy Krabby Patties! * '''Squidward: '''Let's give 'em a taste. ''a patty ''Ew. * '''Mr Krabs: '''Have a bowl Mr Squidward! a bowl of the gummy patties at Squidward Dig a hole Mr Squidward! Take a stroll, Mr Squidward. Your arms are swoll, Mr Squidward! Squidward behind a Hulk toy, possibly from the [[Hulk] video; cut to Mr. Krabs and Squidward at a whack-a-mole game] ''Whack-a-mole, Mr Squidward. ''to Mr Krabs and Squidward being driven up to pay the toll ''Pay the toll, Mr Squidward. ''to Squidward and Mr Krabs at a football/soccer field ''Score a goal, Mr Squidward! ''throws a ball at Squidward and Mr Krabs laughs * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants candles! Look's like they got too close to Squidward's house. * '''Squidward: '''Patrick, why are you or the candle version of you always burning down my house? Well, at least now I have nothing. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants vitamins, SpongeBob SquarePants soap, SpongeBob SquarePants bird seed! * '''Patrick: This bird seed doesn't grow birds. * Bobby: 'SpongeBob SquarePants furniture polish. * ''sprays the furniture polish at the serious lifeguard fish's hotcakes * 'Serious Lifeguard Fish: '''Did you have to spray that on my hotcakes? * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob SquarePants magnets, SpongeBob SquarePants puzzle, SpongeBob SquarePants credit card bills. ''a credit card bill which shows that Bobby had spent $551.20 on SpongeBob products * 'Patrick: '''You know, I wouldn't have bought all this stuff if it didn't have pictures of SpongeBob all over it. * '''Bobby: '''SpongeBob bedroom, SpongeBob washroom, SpongeBob slippers, SpongeBob mugs, SpongeBob light switch, SpongeBob lamps, SpongeBob TV, SpongeBob games, boombox, car, snowcone maker-''gibberish * '''Plankton: ''laughs'' I've been selling all these SpongeBob products so that they would give all of their attention, money and effort to worthless junk. And now I can really lock them in for total mind control with SpongeBob Plush YouTube videos, the three previous SpongeBob FCCD commercials the last step to give them to completely give themselves to commercialism. [laughs again] * SpongeBob: 'Huh? Did you hear that, Patrick? * ''is watching the scene from the cereal commercial that started the 'Have a bowl' meme. On the side of the video, you can see various FCCD videos, including [[Monopolyopoly] and Breakfast With The President] * '''Patrick: ''a drowsy and strange voice Make more SpongeBob videos... Type, type, type, type, type. * '''SpongeBob: 'a slow-motion voice ''No! * ''charges at Patrick and grabs the MacBook Air that Patrick is watching the video on. He throws it off the edge of the countertop, and an explosion effect plays * Patrick: '''Huh? I'm free! * '''Mr Krabs: '''I never realised I was a crab! * '''Squidward: '''Now we can live better lives. * '''SpongeBob: Squidward ''Let's go outside, and- * '''Patrick: '''Help old ladies cross across the street! * '''Mr Krabs: '''Feed people with my new charity. GIVE A BOWL, MR. SQUIDWARD! * '''Plankton: '''I'm going to start wearing clothing. * '''Squidward: '''And I'm not going to be ''sighs grouchy. * SpongeBob: 'And self-centered. * '''Squidward: '''Yeah. * '''Patrick: '''And unreliable. * '''Squidward: '''Uh huh. * '''Mr Krabs: '''And lazy! * '''Squidward: '''Okay. * '''Plankton: '''And ignorant. * '''Squidward: '''I think that's I- * '''Sandy: '''And self-righteous. * '''SpongeBob: '''Hey Squidward, how 'bout you play us some music? * '''Squidward: '''Yeah, on my clarinet! ''to play ''"Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' on the Moonlight" ''on his clarinet * to Sandy, Patrick, SpongeBob, Plankton and Squidward playing on a rope. Gary appears * 'Gary: '''Meow. * ''Giggly Gang are now spinning on a ceiling fan * 'Plankton: '''I'm getting dizzy. * ''Giggly Gang are now in a washing machine * 'Random Fish (probably Plankton): '''My leg! * ''are now inside a bowl that Bobby is pulling. * 'Plankton: '''Help I Fell Out of the Bowl.￼ * then cuts to them on the bag that Bobby shook at the beginning of the video * '''Everyone: ''laughs'' * video ends and the beach outro is shown. Painty the Pirate from the TV show's intro laughs * cuts to a clip where Bobby is cleaning all of the SpongeBob stuff off the counter top * FCCD logo lights up and some text says 'Get Out There and Bring Joy to Someone Today!'. It then explains that the video is a parody Category:Transcripts Category:SpongeBob